Airdate: September 14, 2012
Dr. Oz: How To Let Go Of Your Emotional
Baggage
- Dr. Oz encourages 50 women to navigate breakdowns and breakthroughs
- Where are you heading in your life?
- Recognize emotional baggage
- Recognize that emotional baggage does not have to hold us back
Dr. Oz works with 50 women from across
the country in an effort to help them let go of the emotional baggage
that is harming their health. It's an intervention filled with
breakdowns and breakthroughs.
[I don't think I've ever cried during a
Dr. Oz Show episode but I cried during this one. And it was the power
that these women found in themselves by opening up and believing that
they can change their lives, find their goals and go after them.]
Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Dr. Oz: How To Let Go Of Your
Emotional Baggage
Different from any other show. There's
no audience in The Dr. Oz Show. Fifty women on perched on chairs on
the stage with a suitcase in front of them. It's an intimate setting
to discuss what is really holding them back from their goals.
Valorie Burton, certified personal
coach and author of What's
Really Holding You Back?: Closing the Gap Between Where You Are and
Where You Want to Be [as well as Successful
Women Think Differently and Your
5-Minute Personal Coach],
joins Dr. Oz and his 50 guests to coach them through the three steps
she has identified that are necessary to move beyond that baggage and
achieve their goals.
Ms.
Burton says “emotions are teachers”. They should school
you and not rule you. We often focus too much on what is going wrong
in our lives, she explained, instead of focusing on what we want to
achieve. The key is to this shift in focus is to identify where your
destination. Where are you headed?
Dr. Oz: What's In Your Baggage?
Trisha said her biggest baggage is
associating change with tragedy. She wants to learn how to accept
change as a positive point in her life and not fear it. In her bag
were a set of keys which represented when she and her family moved.
At age 17, she had a boyfriend, her first love. She had to move away
from him with her family. After the move, her love was killed in a
car accident.
Since then, Trisha says that anytime
there has been change in her life something negative also happens.
When she's faced with change she feels physically ill. Her stomach
gets upset and turns to knots.
Ms. Burton said it's just fear. Fear
isn't a stop sign. She said to keep walking forward one step at a
time because the stop sign shouldn't stop your progress.
The second audience member to share her
story says she is afraid of failure. She feels like her mom failed
her and lives in fear of being just like her mom and failing.
Physically, she looks a lot like her mom. Her mom was an addict and
died young leaving her to raise her younger sister.
During times of stress, she goes toward
wine - the only alcoholic beverage her mom didn't drink. She wishes
she could exercise or do something positive instead of drinking.
Emotions are not bad, said Ms. Burton.
The emotions she is feeling around failure, around drinking are all
valid. Acknowledge those emotions.
Dr. Oz jumped into the conversation and
said he thought the purpose was to let go of emotional baggage. But
her mom is part of her, explained Ms. Burton. Rather than being an
open wound, her experiences with her mom and her emotions she feels
because of those experiences should be viewed as a scar that has
healed. Ms. Burton said to acknowledge and embrace that scar and
allow the experience to drive you instead of paralyze,
Pam brought a cigarette from her
suitcase. She's a smoker. Pam shared that she has always been heavy.
At age 9, she started doing diets and was even sent away to a weight
loss camp. Cigarettes came about as a way for Pam to stop eating.
What is your destination, Pam? She
wants to be healthy, happy, and to like herself. Dr. Oz added that
Pam is a perfect example how we do what we know is not good for us.
Pam knows that smoking is bad for her health yet she still does it
because she doesn't want to gain weight again. Pam has become so
driven by the baggage of weight that she is, in essence, hitting
herself over the head with that baggage of smoking.
Dr. Oz: Ms. Burton's Keys to
Overcoming Emotional Baggage
1. Picture the Destination – Set your
goal and set your focus toward achieving that goal.
2. Fear Is Not A Stop Sign – We all
experience fear. Everyone is afraid. Fear does not have to hold us
back from achieving our goals.
3. Validate Emotions – Acknowledge
those emotions and use them as tools to move forward.
Dr. Oz How Emotional Baggage
Brings Physical Effects
Another woman shared what was in her
baggage and it's similar to what's in many peoples baggage: bread.
Growing up, bread was a staple food. She felt safe and comforted
around bread. Stress has moved her to continue to reach for bread for
comfort and as a result has gained 50 pounds over the last year. Her
goal is to be able to accept the emotions she may be feeling and have
a healthy relationship with food.
Dr. Oz asked what she feels in her body
that drives her to food? She said it's a physical sensation. When she
is stressed she feels butterflies in her belly and her heart rate
increases. Instinctively she reaches for bread. As soon as the bread
touches her lips she feels relief.
Those physical sensations of calm and
release of stress, explained Dr. Oz, end up reinforcing that baggage
she hasn't discarded.
Dr. Oz: A Retreat of Emotional
Healing at Miraval
Dr. Oz said each woman will go through
a transformation and at the end of their time together will be able
to move forward within their health and their lives.
If you see something of yourself in
these women, said Dr. Oz, you can benefit from their experience as
they take a journey together at the Miraval
Resort and Spa in Arizona. Dr. Oz wants to help them repack that
baggage in a way the supports and inspires moving toward goals and
recognize that they can't stop simply because they feel emotions.
Why Miraval? Dr. Oz explained that he
wanted to take the women somewhere other than where they live for
this transformation. During this experience, he said together they
will look at their emotional baggage and see if it is still serving
them. Dr. Oz explained that during the journey, the women will be
taken out of their comfort zones to be pushed physically, mentally,
and emotionally. They will examine their baggage and learn how to
stop the negative cycles holding them back.
Dr. Oz: Hike of Exploration
First the group went on a hike. They
encountered beautiful landscapes, picturesque mountains. Many also
felt confronted on what they may be giving up and they fear they felt
around working toward their goals.
Crying, one woman expressed her
appreciation for this opportunity. She shared that she had been
looking for a way to change and she sees this as her chance.
On the trail, Trisha shared that she
was feeling anxious and recognizes that she has been living in fear.
She broke down. It's so much easier, she said, to push down the
emotions and put on a happy face. But she feels so much pain inside
and at the same time can't stand to feel vulnerable.
Dr. Oz: Yoga Flow
The women had the opportunity to
participate in a yoga class where they acknowledge their courage and
their willingness to be at the Resort. Breathing calms the mind.
Relaxation and release exercises help to clear the mind. They learned
how the practice of yoga can support the release of tension, allow
the experience of being centered on themselves, and how to bring back
the positive. These are tools that can help everyone to focus on how
to live life and how to be present in life.
Dr. Oz: Inspirational Lecture from
Valorie Burton
Ms. Burton, experienced life coach,
spoke with the women and asked why they were here? What is their
purpose in life? She talked to them about how baggage holds us back
from our true purpose in life. Picturing the possibilities that we
can create in our lives brings us closer to achieving our goals. Use
failures, she explained, as a tool to move on in life.
Working with a mentor, said Ms. Burton,
can provide the women support during their journey's. This will take
practice. Open your mind, she said. Serve. Enjoy the journey.
Dr. Oz: Pilates
Pilates was another opportunity
presented to the women during their stay at Miraval. Pilates can
support the building of strength, flexibility, and a full range of
motion in the joints. The woman who chose the Pilates class said she
felt like she was meant to be there.
Dr. Oz: Breath Walking
Taking another walk on the grounds, the
women were taught to create a breathing pattern that was in sync with
their stride. They were encouraged to create a mantra of either
sounds or words and to tap their fingers along with their steps and
their breath.
Dr. Oz caught up with the woman who
shared that her mother was an addict and that she struggled with
sobriety. She shared that she is determined to learns how to turn to
other things, positive activities, instead of alcohol. He asked what
it feels like when she is drunk. She said things that aren't good for
her seem like a good idea when she is drinking like cigarettes which
she wouldn't touch when sober.
Sober. That's a new word in the
conversation, said Dr. Oz. What does it feel like to use word sober?
She said it feels like she is setting herself up for a problem.
You're not your mom never have been, Dr. Oz told her. How do take
away the fear with that word sober? She said she wanted to be able to
drink as a celebration not as coping mechanism.
Dr. Oz: Team Wall
An 11 foot wall was presented to the
women as a challenge that they had to face as a community. The wall
can be a metaphor for the personal journey they were experiencing.
They could only reach the top with the help of the others in the
group. To succeed they had to trust each other and trust themselves
to make it over the top of the wall.
Tamiko was terrified to climb the wall.
Her weight was holding her back. Hooked up to a harness and a safety
rope, her community of 15 on the ground helped her scale to the top
where the rest of her community worked to pull her over. Tamiko's
hands were at the top.
Then she couldn't breathe and had to
let go. The safety rope gently lowered back to the ground where she
continued to struggle for breath. Her situation was concerning and an
ambulance was called. Tamiko was admitted to the hospital for
dehydration and was released after five hours.
The next day, Tamiko returned to the
wall with Dr. Oz and her community of women. She told Dr. Oz that she
knows she can anything she sets her mind to. Getting up over that
wall will stay with her. No one can take that away from her. I'm
going to kick that wall's butt!
What's on the other side of that 11
foot wall, Dr. Oz asked. The truth that I can do anything I set my
mind to.
Tamiko scaled the wall with the help of
her community. She was so excited to reach the top. “I did it! I
did it!” Tamiko achieved an incredible goal. [This was the first
point where I cried. It was so touching to see her struggle and then
listen to everyone giving her encouragement. You could see the effort
and determination in her face. It was a touching moment when she
realized she made. She did it!]
Now that she's done this, Tamiko said
she knows she can lose the weight, she can overcome her addiction to
food. “I really feel I can do this,” she said.
Dr. Oz: Cooking Class
The women learned how to cook healthy
meals. They used cactus as a flavor base for a salad. This particular
cactus, explained professor chef, has a slow digesting fiber and can
help support healthy cholesterol and blood sugar levels. One woman
shared that she was happy to find an outlet in cooking and learning
how to create healthy meals instead of turning to food for comfort.
Dr. Oz: Qigong
Trisha chose to learn the ancient
Chinese art of Qigong. Qigong focuses on awareness, breath, and
movement. It's in the isolation of breath, explained the instructor,
where there exists an opportunity to let go of the worries, the
stress, all the outside factors. Taking care of yourself, he said,
can be as simple as taking a breath. What comes back is your
creativity.
Dr. Oz: Quantum Leap
Quantum Leap is a partner activity
where two people climb a high pole in turn and stand on a small
platform at the top together. It's an exercise of facing a fear of
heights and facing a fear of stepping off.
Dr. Oz shared that he is afraid of
heights. He calls his fear real and authentic. Pam shared that she
held the same fear. They chose to partner up and climb the pole.
Ms. Burton coached to not talk about
the fear only talk about the courage. Stay focused on the
destination. [I think my fear of heights is a healthy fear that keeps
me safe. But that's just me.]
Say yes I'm afraid, Ms. Burton
encouraged, but I have courage. You have the courage.
Equipped in a harness with safety
ropes, Pam climb up first and eventually reached the top and stood on
the platform. Then Dr. Oz climbed the pole whole Pam was still
standing on the top platform. Pam had to continually encourage him
through his fear and panic. For Dr. Oz to get on the platform with
her, Pam had to stand on the very edge of while he crawled and pulled
himself up then gently and slowly stood. Dr. Oz said once he was
standing on top of the platform with Pam he was no longer scared.
They jumped off the platform together.
Definitely a life changing experience.
In the background, they played Stevie
Nicks singing Landslide...
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder...
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder...
[I've been listening to this song since
I was a kid and it never fails to bring me to tears. Such a sweet
song filled with so much emotion.]
The women shared their feelings at the
end of this journey...
I now have a tool kit. This is my first
experience of being balanced. I can release tension with yoga. I
feel powerful. I can use these tools to
decompress. I don't have to live in fear or anxiety, I can just
breathe.
The final event was a Native American
ceremony where the released their emotional baggage in a puff of
smoke. The eagle served as a spiritual messenger who took their
prayers into the heavens. Everyone played a drum creating harmony,
synchronicity, the heartbeat of the universe.
Dr. Oz thanked the women for sharing
their stories so that other could learn and live.
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