The Dr. Oz Show
Airdate: November 28, 2012
Dr. Oz: From Gay To Straight? The
Controversial Therapy
- Dr. Oz brings people on both sides of the reparative therapy issue together to discuss pros and cons
Dr. Oz said this show is controversial
and is going to upset some people. Can someone go from gay to
straight with reparative therapy? Dr. Oz takes a look at this little
understood and controversial issue.
Photo credit:
FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Dr. Oz: From
Gay To Straight? The Controversial Therapy
California has recently banned
reparative therapy for minors and Dr. Oz said he was cautioned by
many against tackling this topic. Can you change someone from being
gay to being straight?
Reparative
therapy provides support to men who want to rid themselves of same
sex desires. It's beginnings are traced back to the work of Sigmund
Freud who believed that homosexuality is a mental state that could
essentially be turned on or turned off.
Yet
over 40 years ago the American Psychiatric Association came
out with a statement saying homosexuality is not a mental illness.
Christopher Doyle, LMFT, RTD,
psychotherapist, treats patients with reparative therapy. Clients who
come to Dr. Doyle, mainly men, say they are gay and no longer want to
be gay. He says people are not born gay and that a sexual orientation
preference is learned and is dependant on many factors. Dr. Doyle
says he helps clients identify and resolve the underlying cause
behind “being gay”, determine how to meet their intimacy needs in
a way other than through gay relationships.
Dr. Oz said there are many
long-standing organizations, organizations with medical backing say
that reparative therapy is dangerous and should not be practiced. Dr.
Doyle disagrees and says he's an example of how reparative therapy
works positively as he was once gay but has been straight for eight
years because of the therapy.
Dr. Oz asked about abuse, are Dr.
Doyle's clients victims of past sexual abuse and that's why they have
turned to same sex relationships? Sensitive men see the world
harshly, explained Dr. Doyle, and for many men that view of the world
was shaped by sexual abuse. Dr. Doyle himself experienced sexual
abuse and he says that is one factor that led him to a gay lifestyle.
Through reparative therapy, Dr. Doyle explains, men are able to
confront the underlying cause of being gay and resolve the issues
they have around intimacy, sex, and relationships to then become
straight.
Dr. Doyle's wife Sherry was in the
studio and talked with Dr. Oz. She meet her husband after “the
change” and she's proud of him for what he's been through and for
sharing the experience with others to help them “change” as well.
Doing the work through reparative
therapy, explained Dr. Doyle, of resolving desires for same sex
relationships will “cure” someone and “change” them into
being straight for life.
Dr. Oz: What Is Reparative
Therapy?
Dr. Oz and his team visited a retreat
for men who want to change their sexual orientation from gay to
straight. Journey Through Manhood
is a program designed by Rich Wyler, certified life coach, who
himself wanted to stop being gay and found a way to “change” and
he shares that with other men.
Dr.
Doyle said as a child growing up he was attracted to men yet he
always pictured himself marrying a woman and having a family. After
his transformation, Dr. Doyle says he truly has become the man he
always wanted to be.
Mr. Wyler said men who are attracted to
men are often conflicted with their attraction and the culture in
which they live. Pressures from society, from religious organizations
lead these men to question who they are yet the men often feel they
have no place to turn to get help.
PEW research says 52% of Americans
support gay marriage and gay couples adopting children, explained Dr.
Oz who then asked why change people when society is gradually
becoming more accepting of the gay lifestyle? Dr. Doyle says he has
nothing against the gay lifestyle he, and Mr. Wyler, are offering
support to men who have tried being gay, did not find satisfaction,
and want a way to become straight.
Dr. Oz: The Dark Side of
Reparative Therapy
Gabriel Arana said he was always
attracted to men but was uncomfortable. His mother, who knew he
struggled with his orientation asked him if there was a pill that
could make him straight would he take it. Mr. Arana said he
absolutely would so that he wouldn't have to struggle to fit into
society. He turned to reparative therapy. Throughout college he tried
living straight and he struggled with depression and even became
suicidal. His father sat down with him and said he rather have a gay
son than a dead son.
Peter Drake married a woman and they
had children together yet he says he never felt right. At age 58 and
had been married for 28 years, Mr. Drake came out as gay. Prior to
coming out, he struggled with his orientation and same sex desires
for years. His community said he needed to pray his sexuality away,
he needed to work out more to get rid of these feelings, he needed to
look at more heterosexual magazines to get the ideas out of his head.
Nothing helped.
Mr. Drake tried reparative therapy and
said he felt ashamed of his desires, felt like a failure, and was
suicidal. Now, Mr. Drake calls reparative therapy malpractice. Going
into reparative therapy there was a claim that he could be “cured”
of his homosexuality. He says children, young people should not be
exposed to this damaging therapy, they should be encouraged to be
comfortable with who they are.
Mr. Arana said his upbringing did not
contain any abuse, there was no problem with his relationship with
his father or with his mother. In reparative therapy, he was
continually encouraged to find past traumas. Mr. Arana said he then
essentially went fishing for traumas that never existed in his past.
Mr. Drake said as a parent he doesn't
believe parents should be telling their kids there is something wrong
that there is something to “cure”.
Dr. Doyle responded saying these are
inaccurate pictures of the therapy, it doesn't tell children or
adults that they are wrong or that they have to change.
Dr. Oz: Clay Aiken Speaks Out
Clay Aiken won the second season of
American Idol and looking back now he is so surprised that he
hadn't yet understood he was gay during that time. In high school, he
explained, that the other boys were always talking about their
interest in girls yet he wasn't on the same page and didn't have the
same attractions.
At age 24, Mr. Aiken said he realized
himself that he was gay. It wasn't until age 26 that he started
telling people in his life that he was gay and it wasn't until he was
30, he said, that he was comfortable being completely open about his
orientation.
Mr. Akin said he wanted to be a part of
this conversation because he feels heartbroken that there are people
trying to “change” gays instead of understanding them. The name
itself, reparative, implies that there is something to be fixed and
that people are inherently wrong.
Mr. Akin said he didn't choose to be
gay and his life would certainly be easier if he was straight. Going
through his own personal journey of understanding who he is and his
place in the world, Mr. Aiken said he has learned to love himself as
he is and that journey isn't possible through reparative therapy.
Brad Lamm, author and interventionist
against reparative therapy, said as early as age 6 he was kissing
boys and knew he was going to marry another man. His family thought
there was nothing worse than being gay. Going through reparative
therapy led to 20 years of addiction, suicide, and a whole list of
self-harm because the therapy told he has wrong, explained Mr. Lamm.
Mr. Lamm said that reparative
therapists who say they are coming from a culture of love is not
true, it is a bogus organization. Mrs. Doyle said that's not true and
that she would be accepting of her child if they came to her and
said, I'm gay.
Dr. Oz stepped into the heated jabs
going back and forth saying it's important to talk about the issue
openly and constructively, giving each side a voice because these
arguments are going on in back alleys.
Lamm said it's not right for a parent
to say their child should change. Reparative therapy is harming
children.
Dr. Oz: Experts on Both Sides of
Issue Weigh In
Dr. Julie Hamilton, licensed therapist
who agrees with reparative therapy, apologized to Mr. Drake and Mr.
Arana.
Dr. John Sharp is a psychiatrist
against reparative therapy, saying it's harmful. Patients feels
conflicted, and isn't everyone in some way, and he helps them to
understand the conflicts and choose what is best for them in their
lives. People don't change and he doesn't know what Dr. Doyle's
change in orientation means. In reparative therapy people are shown
how to suppress what is not desirable in society to better fit in,
explained Dr. Sharp.
Mr. Lamm said there are many former
therapists within the reparative therapy movement who have left the
field because it doesn't work and it is teaching people that who they
are is wrong.
Aaron McQuade, with the Gay and Lesbian
Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), said reparative therapy has been
shunned by mainstream medical and psychological organizations over
concerns of safety and health more than any other reason.
Eliza Byard, PhD, with the Gay, Lesbian
and Straight Education Network, said both children and adults
struggling with their sexuality want to be accepted by their family
as they go through a journey of self-discovery. To young people who
are feeling conflicted, Dr. Byard wanted to say “you are beautiful
just the way you are and you don't need to change”. She said every
major psychological organization sees reparative therapy as
unethical.
Children need three things from their
community as they are developing, explained Dr. Byard: to feel safe
at home and school, have loving adults in their lives who care, and
to feel connected to a community. Reparative therapy, as a practice,
says fundamentally there is something wrong with you and that doesn't
fit within the accepted model of a nurturing environment in which
people can develop and thrive.
Dr. Hamilton said all therapy is about
people becoming more comfortable and secure with themselves. She said
reparative therapy is only helping people who are distressed by the
attraction that they feel.
Mr. Lamm said children should not be
preached to about what is right and wrong regarding sexual
orientation and that children should be allowed to develop on their
own. Reparative therapy stands to show that parents have messed up in
raising their children and tries to “change” the child.
Dr. Oz's Final Thoughts
Dr. Oz said he felt it was important to
get this topic out into the open. He encouraged anyone who is
struggling with issues of sexual orientation to seek out a trained
professional, to talk to their loved ones and to look to
organizations for information and support.
On DoctorOz.com there are several
statements from organizations on both sides of the issue. Click
here to go to DoctorOz.com for more information on this issue.
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